Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Sticks & Stones

 Today, Pam at Over 50 Feeling 40 wrote a post about supporting one another as bloggers. As always, Pam writes insightful and inspiring posts. Reading her post made me think about the power of words.  When I was young, there was a rhyme "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."   I don't think that was ever true, but now more than ever words can hurt not just one person but many. In the last couple of days, I have read on the internet some posts and comments about people who are overweight that hurt me. Some people are very well meaning, but their words hurt nonetheless and others are just plain mean. 

One saying that I have always liked is "there but for the grace of God go I."  I know how very fortunate I am. I hope that I never make anyone feel like less than what they are. If I do, it is not because I meant to do so.  I would hope that if I say something that has upset anyone in any way, you will let me know. 

When I worked, there were times when a person had done something that managment did not like. Rather than tell the person so that they could correct it, they would do something like demote them or fire them.  That is so unfair.  If you think someone isn't a good manager, tell them what they did wrong. Give them a chance to improve.  If they don't, then fire or demote them.  I think the same is true for the blogging world. If someone has done something you take umbrage with, let them know. They may not have meant what you thought. I remember once when I thought someone believed they were better than me. It turned she did not think that at all and we ended up as close friends who had more in common than we first suspected. 

Now, I will share my outfit for the day. I saw an outfit in a magazine that was gray and camel and I thought it looked really nice. I did not accessorize this outfit as the jacket has rhinestone pins as buttons and I thought that was accessory enough. My biggest accessory is Harry, who has become quite the ham.
Today is our first really wintery type day. It is cold, rainy, and the wind blowing really hard.  So, there will be many more indoor photos from now on.

Jacket: Chico's, vintage fur collar
Blouse: Coldwater Creek
Jeans: Dressbarn
Shoes: Tom's

His eyes were kind of wild which made me laugh.
He was being so silly.

I have communicated with so many wonderful people in this blogging world and  I feel so fortunate to be a part of this community. We are learning as we go and hopefully becoming better people because of it.  I thought of not even posting this, but then I decided that sharing our thoughts and feelings is just as important as sharing our fashion. I just hope I did not offend anyone with this post!


  1. Debbie I totally support what you are saying.

    I have never been comfortable with receiving or the giving of criticism and think that anyone who has a nasty thought or comment should be very cautious how or if they deliver the message. It should be constructive not destructive.

    Comments in emails do not show body language or give a tone of voice or truly reflect how the message is meant, they are so cut and dried that it can be hurtful even if it was not the intention.

    My Mother always told us that if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all.

    I still believe that this is a good policy.

    I do not think anyone could take offense from this post.

  2. Love the fur collar and the metallic shoes!

    I really agree with you. The blog world is so supportive, I get annoyed at the rest of the internet for the bullying and childish put-downs.

    I've been grateful for all the strong support of wonderful people every single day. I try to pass that back as much as possible. People need to know they are better than they are given credit for. Everyone deserves to be told nice things. It's possible to be constructive, and have some decency. I think the fashion blog world (for the most part) is good about this.

  3. Thanks for the mention of my post Debbie...I appreciate your comments so much! You said two really important things here: First it is so easy to misunderstand something that is written and not said face to face...we should check it out before over reacting...and second, we should have the courage to help others when they think they might need it. Again, iron sharpens iron!! Love your jacket!

  4. It is so true that we need to be careful about how we say things and also about misinterpreting what people do and say.

    I'm loving those pants and shoes together and dying over those arrows on your wall.

  5. Dear Debbi,

    I am so distraught that you and Pam may be referring to me as being unkind by my bracelet swap post. Please email me privately and let me know. If it is the case I will publicly apologize and take down my blog. I NEVER,EVER was considered a mean girl and at the age of 50 don't want to start being one now.

  6. Very thoughtful post, Debbi. Words can hurt, as much as or more than sticks and stones. You are one of the kindest people I've met in the blog-world, I can't imagine anyone taking offense at your post.

    Love your look, and your Harry!

  7. Love your jacket and the vintage fur is a great touch. Also adore your Tom's shoes, and such a great cause. Great post and adorable dog.

  8. What a fun jacket! Your dog is the cutest thing, and I agree about remembering "there but for the grace of God go I," and giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

  9. i love the fur on your coat, and how great are TOMS?!!! i have a summer pair in coral that i love a lot. they're soooo comfy.

    i have to say that i've been so encouraged by the blogging community. they're so positive and i find it really a blessing to find such a supportive group. it's unlike many other worlds. i hope that people can continue to be kind to each other!

  10. I agree that the supportive nature of the blogging world is its finest feature. There's a lot of negativity out there, elsewhere, but it's all about carving out your own space and embracing the positive. (Just like your adorable, happy-looking doggie is doing!)

  11. I have a feeling you'll be outside despite the cold with your four footed friend. His coat looks plenty warm.

    I once paid a thearpist $110 an hour to tell me that things I thought or said about other people were often a reflection of my own opinions of myself. Be kind to others, be kind to yourself!

  12. Debi,

    You are very kind and sane, which is basically why I read you. I really only stumbled on your blog trying to answer the question "how old is too old to keep wearing jeans?" and initially I thought I wasn't interested in reading a fashion blog when my own look leans more to aging hippie. But I've continued to read it because you are such a sane, calm, and damnit NICE voice in a mean world. I recently got back from on of those long bruising visits with friends I no longer have much in common with and the first place I went online trying to reorient myself was your blog.

    I grew up totally clueless about clothes and dressed entirely from what my mother could find at the Goodwill or Salvation Army. So believe me, I got put down pretty much on a daily basis. So I can really empathize.

  13. Wow, wow, wow. I love your bigger photos, yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. i can see you at last.
    I read Pam´s post and I couldn´t agree more with her.
    You are gorgeous, and so is your dog.

  14. Love out little blogging community--it's like a little support group really.
    Love the collar on your jacket--it almost looked like your hair grew at first--lol.
    It's never just about the clothes.....

  15. @Anonymous Hi, thank you for stopping by the blog. I want to tell you that you made my day with your comments. Really, truly made my day. thank you.

  16. @Anonymous Hi, thank you for stopping by the blog. I want to tell you that you made my day with your comments. Really, truly made my day. thank you.

  17. You dog is indeed a ham! He is adorable.
    I too have had some slightly off comments. At the end of a hard day it would be easy to let my fingers overload my ass. But I to have learned to take it with a grain of salt. I have never been anything but nice (Of course that is my nature) while blogging.
    I have come to love all of my blogging friends and appreciate all of those in our little community. We all need the support of other women. Not to tear down, but to build up.
    So I say Viva la bloggy friends!
    By the way I love the jacket!

  18. If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't comment, right? I have read some pretty crappy, mean things on blogs too. It is all just nonsense. It is always anonymous too. cowards. I love your redheaded dog. Your jacket is perfect for Fall with the trim, great layering piece Debbie. Have a great weekend darling and stay encouraged. Thank you for dropping in to visit me. Dawn Suitcase Vignettes xo