Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Don't Compare & Despair

I wasn't feeling well today, so I spent some of my time watching TV. What Not to Wear was on and as I watched it, something Carmindy said struck a nerve.  She told the young lady she was doing makeup on, "Don't play the compare and despair game."  

I know that I am guilty of having done just that. I see models in magazines and actresses on TV that are so beautiful and thin.  Fashion models are often under 20 years old, so no wonder they are so pretty and thin!   The lovely actresses are mostly young too. Plastic surgery and hair extensions help out too. It is silly for me to compare myself to them!  I know a lot of women over 50 who are beautiful because they are so smart, talented, kind, and generous of spirit.  Their physical beauty may have faded but that does not mean they are not attractive.

I also received a new fashion magazine today and saw an ad featuring Jennifer Lopez. You could see that her lipstick had been applied to make her lips look larger than what they really are. A picture of Diane Keeton in another ad had obviously been airbrushed. I have seen photos of her that were not retouched and she has wrinkles just like the rest of us!  No wonder that some women feel they are lacking when we compare ourselves to images which have been altered to show perfection not reality.

I am so thankful for all the over 50 bloggers who are showing other women that they are not alone and that their worth is not in physical beauty but in their talent, style, honesty, integrity, and generosity.


  1. Isn't Carmandy the best? She has a make up line from Sally Hansen, but I haven't bothered to find out where they sell it here.
    If I was thin, my husband would still love me, but he wouldn't be as happy with my body type. I was thin when we married and he commented that he must be crazy about my mind because I was the first girl he dated that wore a smaller size than he did. The women he dated weren't huge, but they were certainly not skinny like I was before the babies. Being in this hot climate, I have actually lost a little weight and find I would rather have the fat than this loose skin.
    Almost bought the Calypso St. Bart Elephant Belt to send you now that it is 75% off. I am having way too much fun with this whole accessory swap thing.

  2. When these so called "BEAUTIFUL" get married, have children and actually work a real job they will look just like the rest of us "real" women!! lol Eventually gravity is out of your control!! lol Maturity is beautiful! There is obviously some immaturity that is causing insecurity with all this plastic surgery! Kiah

  3. I am actually grateful to the fashion industry and to the celebs who use surgery and airbrushing to achieve "perfection". I look at fashion models who are walking the runways now and between the super skinny bodies, the frowning faces with outlandish makeup, and the ridiculous hairdos, I am much more satisfied with me. The fashions are often also ridiculous. I have seen women pay for surgery to have their chests enlarged. Mine have been huge since 6th grade and if I had had money for surgery it would have been to have them made smaller. I have seen perfectly beautiful women go under the knife expecting to get back their youthful faces only to come out looking like caricatures. Carmindy is right. I may not be in the ranks of the really hot looking women, but he still reaches for me and says he loves me. I must be doing something right.

  4. This post struck a nerve with me. 18 months ago I avoided photographs at all costs...I have a long face and don't wear much makeup. Blogging has helped me get used to my look and to be far less judgmental about it.

  5. I can hardly watch WNTW because they are so catty towards the make-over gal. By the time Clinton and Stacy have beaten up the gal Carmindy is always so nice.

    The add-on to compare and despair is "don't compare your insides to their outsides." Whoever you're envying has their own troubles, you just don't know what they are.

  6. great post! thanks for sharing. I am a new follower.
    and If I could get this to work right you'd actually see me! :-(